As part of our wedding vows, we promise to love, honor and cherish. What does it mean to honor your spouse? How we speak about your spouse to others says a lot. Do you spend your time griping about those things that aren’t perfect? Or, do you honor them with your words? By that I mean can anyone say that you’ve said anything derogatory, anything that implies you don’t respect them, anything that belittles them? Even if you do have a problem brewing between you and your spouse, do you complain to others and possibly damage their relationship with your spouse in the process? Every time we cross the line and show the world what’s not so good about the person we’ve vowed to share our lives with, we are not holding up our end of the bargain. We are not honoring them.
I honor my husband by keeping the chinks in his armor to myself. I am supposed to be his ally so telling where his weaknesses are does not honor him. No matter how great the infraction, I will not tell others how he failed; it would not honor him. I only speak to others the words that lift him up and show the world how wonderful he is. I’m not lying to myself or other people when I do this. I’m using discretion about what I share so that I present my husband in the best possible light. Wouldn’t you want the same? Wouldn’t you want the person who knows whether or not you drool in your sleep to choose not to ridicule you to others? Honoring your spouse is a key ingredient to a wonderful, fulfilling marriage. That’s not to say you won’t ever disagree. Just choose carefully when, where and how you’ll express your opinion.
Also, when you honor your spouse, you remind yourself of all of the good qualities that brought you both together in the first place. People fail, that’s just part of being human. When they do, it is much easier to forgive if you can remember why you loved them in the first place. Do you honor your spouse?
I Do, Except For The Obey Part!
A Cultural Attack On Biblical Marriage
Hat’s off to Miss California, Carrie Prejean. At a time it would have been easy to give a politically correct response to her pageant question; she stood up for her values and supported the definition of marriage being between a man and a woman. It is troubling that standing up for Biblical values is somehow now politically incorrect or beyond that, even offensive. A slow erosion of American society’s expectations for a Biblical standard for behavior has led to many small compromises along the way so we can all “just get along.” As Christians, are supposed to love one another. This has been twisted over time into total acceptance of this behavior. We now have “rights” for what used to be called sin.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate anyone. I can love my fellow man without accepting behavior that is self destructive to both themselves and to others around them. Since the relationship we have with God is like that between a father and a child, if we don’t have that model in our lives anywhere how skewed will our view of any relationship with The Father be?
In Revelations 3:15-21, the Church in Laodicea is warned about being neither hot nor cold and because they are lukewarm, God will spit them out.
15 “‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! 16 So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. 17 For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see. 19 Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. 20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. 21 The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. (ESV Online)
We now live in a time where it is imperative to choose this day who you will serve. Our efforts to be tolerant in the name of Christianity have made us luke warm. Each of us is faced with the decision to get along and say nothing about the deterioration of our values or to risk personal consequences for standing up for what we believe. What do you believe?